En Hyggelig Weekend I Belgien

 Goddag og godaften,


Small hiatus, folk, as I basically spent the last few months going absolutely mental. Anyway, an Englishman, Dane, and four more Danes walk into a bar. Seriously. It was a bar at an event held in actual Belgium! We drank beers and had a cosy time. Absolute top kek, and minimal rage - mostly got out of my system in the first hour or so. Anyway...


Many things in Danish are fucking hilarious. 


Harshly, so few Danes are as skilled and proficient in playing toy soldiers as I, and as I hail from the former capital of Denmark (not at all anything to do with my being free that weekend) I joined the Danish national team....of toy soldiers players. A quick blast at the old DuoLingo and a ticket to Antwerp on the plane and I was ready to go.


Travel

Luxair, on the other hand, thought differently when it announced the scrapping of its flight BACK to England. Happy to leave me stranded in a country where haut cuisine is mayo on your chips, I managed to wangle a ride home in the actual BattleCamper campervan! A missed opportunity for a video of some top-ass swearing if ever there was one. Anyway, to add to the travel fun, the Antwerp airport is in the middle of nowhere, and has no phones, cash machines, or taxis. I footslogged the hours walk to the hotel while it rained on me. 

Other cool travel options used included plane, train, battlecamper, ferry, foot and car. But the best transport option in Antwerp is reserved for night time, when rather brilliantly the entirety of the city's orthodox Jewish population come out to push their prams or ride their bikes. Honesty, crossing a road has never been such a "life in the hands" moment as you risk being scythed down by a black-garbed Hassidic jew on a bike with seemingly no lights on. The history of the Jewery in the city is long, tragic, fascinating and clearly vibrant and was a big highlight for me. 


Toy Soldiers

The toy soldiers was hard. As expected, in a 3g3e team event, there were a lot of Dragon Emperor and other sick filth. My beautiful elves were in for a complete fisting. I ended with a win, four losses, and one salty loss which was a moral victory but you don't want to hear about that*

Team Denmark came home with a metric (not Imperial - in Europe) fuckton of prizes including two painting prizes and the Best Most Mega Team Contribution Of Brilliance award. This entirely shat on the England teams who spent zero time partying and only finished a place or so above. 


*Salt

Clearly, youre here to hear the salt. Final game we were playing Canada again, who were good sorts. I played a chap who was having a bad time. Really, he had some kind of reaction to the actual air, and blood was pouring out of his nose. I was playing a blinder, and had done serious work, when his nose basically exploded and blood was falling on the table. I suggested a break to get fixed, and we sat outside and chilled while he stemmed the considerable flow. Maybe ten minutes later we got back to it. He had a banner which meant he was VPs up, but I had him on the ropes needing two kills to win on break. With four fights with me having traps vs his single goblins and orcs, it was going to be fun times. Then, time was called, he called hard dice down and put him models away! What a fucking joke. We had been told it was going to be hard dice down but AFTER the end your turn time! And ffs wed had 10 minutes blood bin too. To say I was speechless would be an understatement. In short, fuck Canada. 

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