Pie Ship To Pie Man. Send Up More (Pork) Pies

No, not the one with Richard Griffiths off of The History Boys. The one with Chloe Ashcroft and Ben Thomas (yes, Victor Duke from East Enders!). It had all the elements of classic BBC television - merry songs; rosy-cheeked peasant women; production budget of £2.56; and pies. And today I am going to tell you with pie-themed GBHL80s do massive turds on joyless 90s run for $profit$.



                                                Hats. Moustaches. How can it not be a winner?


Proof Of The Pie Is In The Eating

Last week or so I attended, in stealth mode, the Lets Hunt Some Pork event in Melton. The fun began with my using up an entire days swearing in twenty trying to get the very well hidden BP Pulse EV chargers to work. This event had a mere 16 players and the dickhead quotient was very low. The weather was sunny; there was beer for lunch; there was a meat-based theme, with tweeked scenarios; there were deeply sexual 3d printed piezes (portmanteau of pies and prizes) and actual proper pork pies which id hope were deeply filled and not at all deeply sexual. Nice venue and the lass who worked there was also a proper hotty. 

Result - sold out, lots of fun. 


Hinckley Was Fucking Shit

I mean, I tried to think of a witty strapline but couldnt. I picked up a local cool dude and made our way to Hinckley. It was a medium-posh town, albeit with a centre that looked like it could do with a few fewer slot machine shops. The days balls-ups began with our failure to find the correct "Corner Cafe" as there were two corners and two cafes. 

No links to the Longshanks as the TO had decided to use BCP. I mean, ffs. Four rounds with some seriously depressing list choices. I didnt do overly crap, with two crushing wins and two close losses. It was just hugely soulless. There were good as no prizes, and no most sporting despite what was said on a recent yootoob report. An administrative issue resulted in a very short lunchbreak which wasnt really needed as the round times for 500pts were far in excess of what was needed. The venue was ok and provided a fairly gash buffed that we swapped for beers in town. Annoyingly, there was a decent sandwich shop with bar across the road - would it really have been that tricky to ask them to do us a bacon roll and a pint each? 

Result - sold out, as all 90s seem to, yet was soul-less gash with no theme. £500+ income for shop for no work. Same place is doing 3 more. I bet they are rammed full of tryhards. 


The Unspeakable Sadness of Eventing

So, in the space of a month we have some serious GBHL issues. Two, 2 day GBHL100 event have sold way below 50% of capacity. Yet some absolute dirge 90s are brimful. The best event of the year (Hull) had 11 players. And our regional non-league day sold 20 tickets despite being planned on the back of  a fag packet in a fortnight. 

Something has changed....and not entirely for the better....


To come -  tales of Danish spunk, or third party misery, slow deaths, and a pointed tale of laser-pointlessness.


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