Everybody Loves a Nice Cottage.....Industry

Or pie. 


But tbh I can leave random hookups with homosexual men in public toilets. Not that that sort of thing happens in Hinckley. I presume. Mainly as I dont think a UK council can afford to keep public bogs open anymore. 


Hinckley. Hinckley? Where the fuck is Hinckley?

Hinckley is a small market town in south Leicestershire. Notable for its historic hosiery industry, the area is now known for the Triumph Motorcycle factory, and also where they make Ultima kit cars. Truely keeping the British cottage industry alive. And they are having a toy soldiers event. But will it be any good? Ive a feeling that.....



                                                                        ITS A TRAP!


Yes, a trap. Why so? Well, tempting as a) local, b) inexpensive, c) one day, d) gbhl90 events are, this one seems to have had its soul sucked out of it. Despite a tempting title, there appears to be no theme, whimsey, or anything. Just 4 games. 500pts. Random scenarios. Not even using Longshanks. I mean, thats a bit barebones. And we all know what 500pts means.....it means 3 hero hunter orc lists, and those meta-chasing khand lists. That's pretty certain to do a sex-wee all over my lovely elves. The TO seems uninterested in any pre-event banter, which makes me think that, unless full of cool dudes, that this event is going to suck harder than a hungry granny with her teeth out. 


What Armies, M'Lud?

So, I present you with my options:

    1) Leggy with cloak, Tits-out, 15 rangers and 4 sentinels. 
    2) Leggy, Tits-out, 15 rangers, a captain, and a single sentinel. 
    3) WKOA with crown, fancy hoss, +2/+4/+3, Black Num Marshall on hoss with lance, 13 knights                with a banner.

Not that I would ever spend 15 minutes checking the opposition on farcebook, but I have a feeling that we are going to see the zero-brain hunter orc ripoff, and a few chariots. As I type this, I was feeling quite sad but having just looked over the lists for City Of Steel  I feel the sense of whimsey - a Sauron; a Faramir + Trebuchet; a troll list. You see, there is hope. Whimsical rebellions are built on hope.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

If Theres No Cheese In A Cheese Sandwich, Its Basically Just Two Slices Of Bread.

Image
You spend all fing week scrolling on Shein to find that frock, you get to the party and the first person you see, probably the host, is wearing the exact same frock. Or worse still, theirs is like the Versace version and yours is the sweat-shop knock-off version. I mean, FML. Its reputedly the actual reason Hitler invaded Poland, rather than the much repeated assertion that  Mościcki told a poorly judged "your mum" joke.  Also, my face when I flex a list no-one else has ever thought about. Setting the Scene To set the scene, I first painted a Rivendell swordsman back when I started this game in 2019. But never actually used them on the tabletop - I didn't have any 3d printed shields then, so they were rubbish. Now GW has spanked those who would have given someone a bow, spear and shield. So fast forward and the new book has arrived, and I sneakily find that I can take my favorites - THE LORD ELROND, his hot dorter, and a heap of my old plastique elves to fill up 600pts. ...
Read more

Povos, Parmos, PJ & Duncan

Image
Alreeet folk, This time, the toy soldiers have been "ooop norf" risking life and limb in a strange part of the world where we have to be on our guard against all things wrong about the north of England. To set the scene, I took the Smelves of Elrond up to a one-dayer in Middlesborough, which is somewhere I had only ever skirted around before. Lets consider some more about geography. Yorkshire. Yorkshire is simply the best county in England, and therefore the world. No-one is in any doubt about this, and if they are they get beatings. With world class sport in the form of cricket; drinks in the form of Sam Smiths Old Brewery Bitter ; headgear in the form of flat caps; and a climate where the clouds are just that little fluffier, sky bluer, sun brighter, and rain softer than anywhere else.  Actual true image of Yorkshire landscape Tyne and Wear A region where gangs of ginger bykers roam the wildness of the Metro Centre, and local hardmen PJ and Duncan patrol looking for folk ca...
Read more

(Bad) Back Once Again With The MESBG Master

Image
Alreet pets, This week, I have mostly been lying down with a hot water bottle. In the week that followed the highly skewed event that was Tis A Gathering, I have regained the ability to walk again. Its the sad marker that, as an old person who takes little care of himself, it shouldn't be surprising when vital structures like my spine fail. Still, my R4 opponent wont forget that game in a hurry.  Tis A Gathering is a GBHL80 event due to your being able to win without actually winning games. It adds the additional dimensions of "hobby" and "sportsmanship" - each of which are scored out of 20. This makes it fully 3D gaming, and it pleases me that you can win all, or 5, of your games but still rank quite lowly if you are a cunt. Several key moments for me (who only played Day 2 due to numbers) were: sweating my tits off on day 1 as we sweltered in the heat; three of us eating tapas for 4; and doing my back after about 15 minutes of playing toy soldiers.  The golden...
Read more