Err Nerrr, Theres Sner On The Rerd To Merder - Preview To Hull, January 2024
Ayup Folk,
Bringing the vibes today as we approach the first one-dayer of the season - the short hop over the Bridge to Neener Neener Land. For fam like me who love the Hull accent, a day trip to the land of Kerka Kerla is a top excursion from the craphouse of Lincolnshire. So lets have a look at the cool stuff going down at this event:
What You Will Need For This Weeks Hobby
This is a 500pt, 4 game event, with hugely generous 2 hour round times. So you need one of those. There are no list restrictions, which is good stuff. 500pts gives me chance to run a small elf army consisting of Leggy, Tits-Out, 15 elves, 4 sentinels. And 2 hours gives me plenty of pew pew pew options.
Secondly, you need to read the pack. Nah, just kidding. You can, and there is a subplot involving collecting jewels. These jewels dont alter gameplay, but garner you prizes. Only the leader can collect the jewels and as mine will be hiding behind a wall for most of the game its unlikely I will win this.
Thirdly you need to get there chuffing early. Its 8:30 registration for a 9am start which, in January, might be pretty dicey. Im taking friends, which will be top lols as I am strongly of the belief that friends = painting prize, even if it costs me in post-event poppadums. The Fellowbellies team, and Lincs in general will be strongly represented.
Whats Good About Hull?
Apart from the accent, Hull is known for several cool things of which Hullovians are rightly proud:
- Hull has white phone boxes. This stems from a time when all local phone networks were owned by the councils, and were slowly amalgamated into BT. Except Hull. Only 7 people in Hull ever owned a phone so there was no commercial rationale to buy them. White phone boxes are now repurposed for homeless to shower in.
- The most famous Hull band, The Housemartins, were formed there when Fatboy Slim (Brighton) and Paul Heaton (Sheffield) argued about which one must relocate. In the end, they settled on Hull as "less gay" than Brighton and "less shit" than Sheffield. When they arrived there with suitcase, £5 and a tag around their necks with their names on, the realised they were wrong on both counts.
- During World War 2, 95% of Hull was destroyed by bombing. This was made possible by the fact that, as home of the worlds largest Yorkshire Pudding factory, most houses in Hull at the time were made of hollowed out breadcakes (bread buns) and dried batter. The richer houses had rooves made from the foils of Tunnocks caramel wafers and these Scottish rooved homes were all that survived.
- The Humber Bridge was built as a peace bridge at the end of the Cod War between Hull and Grimsby. The toll booths are at the Hull side, and legally drivers actually donate to charity in accordance with the act of reparations whereby folk arriving in Hull from Lincolnshire pay to maintain their widows, orphans, virgins (few) and fallen women (of which there are many) of Hull. There is no charge to enter Lincolnshire.

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