Salty Spoonful

Alreeet folk, This time, the toy soldiers have been "ooop norf" risking life and limb in a strange part of the world where we have to be on our guard against all things wrong about the north of England. To set the scene, I took the Smelves of Elrond up to a one-dayer in Middlesborough, which is somewhere I had only ever skirted around before. Lets consider some more about geography. Yorkshire. Yorkshire is simply the best county in England, and therefore the world. No-one is in any doubt about this, and if they are they get beatings. With world class sport in the form of cricket; drinks in the form of Sam Smiths Old Brewery Bitter ; headgear in the form of flat caps; and a climate where the clouds are just that little fluffier, sky bluer, sun brighter, and rain softer than anywhere else.  Actual true image of Yorkshire landscape Tyne and Wear A region where gangs of ginger bykers roam the wildness of the Metro Centre, and local hardmen PJ and Duncan patrol looking for folk ca...

You spend all fing week scrolling on Shein to find that frock, you get to the party and the first person you see, probably the host, is wearing the exact same frock. Or worse still, theirs is like the Versace version and yours is the sweat-shop knock-off version. I mean, FML. Its reputedly the actual reason Hitler invaded Poland, rather than the much repeated assertion that  Mościcki told a poorly judged "your mum" joke.  Also, my face when I flex a list no-one else has ever thought about. Setting the Scene To set the scene, I first painted a Rivendell swordsman back when I started this game in 2019. But never actually used them on the tabletop - I didn't have any 3d printed shields then, so they were rubbish. Now GW has spanked those who would have given someone a bow, spear and shield. So fast forward and the new book has arrived, and I sneakily find that I can take my favorites - THE LORD ELROND, his hot dorter, and a heap of my old plastique elves to fill up 600pts. ...

or does it get you a complete fisting?  Subtext - if you devise an event that has leanings to a theme or a scene, should you actively support those who Go Go Gadget Theme? On the flip, if you are running a vanilla 90, should you drop the pretext of any kind of theme concession at all - and forget even trying to apply a contextual wrapper around your event? The urge is always stronk. When you're like me - theme as fuck - there's always that voice saying "you're going to get a beating". Now the reason for this post *now* is that you have seen my list for an upcoming 90 where I'm taking complete junk in the name of sticking two finger up at GW. But is anyone else going to rock up on the theme team? And is anyone but me going to appreciate the theme?  Does My Dedication To Theme Ruin "Srs Bzns" Players Fun At Events? So, I went to a one day 90 which normally I wouldn't. It was in Birmingham, which is a bizarre melting pot of fairly seriously non-them...

Word up, fam. Its the tizzle to get bizzle with the shizzle. Ya knizzle? We all know that young people cant seemingly open their mouths without spouting some ridiculous yoofspeak. The next person who says skibbidy to me is likely to get my boot in their face. Yet one phrase that has traction this month is "get in the bin". Stuff that's rightly shit should, in fact, go in the bin. Leaving good stuff that isn't in the bin.....but have you ever found yourself  *scrabbling in the actual bin*  to find something you have thrown away something you shouldn't? Its a vital part of Brit life that, when given choices, we can sometimes get a little silly. Lets open up a boat naming competition. Lets have a Christmas number one song about a sausage roll. Equally silly, lets consider the following photo from the actual real, real world of politics. One a serious politician. One full of shit. You decide. So, what's goi ng in the MESBG bin? What should go in the bin? What has...

 Goddag og godaften, Small hiatus, folk, as I basically spent the last few months going absolutely mental. Anyway, an Englishman, Dane, and four more Danes walk into a bar. Seriously. It was a bar at an event held in actual Belgium! We drank beers and had a cosy time. Absolute top kek, and minimal rage - mostly got out of my system in the first hour or so. Anyway... Many things in Danish are fucking hilarious.  Harshly, so few Danes are as skilled and proficient in playing toy soldiers as I, and as I hail from the former capital of Denmark  (not at all anything to do with my being free that weekend) I joined the Danish national team....of toy soldiers players. A quick blast at the old DuoLingo and a ticket to Antwerp on the plane and I was ready to go. Travel Luxair, on the other hand, thought differently when it announced the scrapping of its flight BACK to England. Happy to leave me stranded in a country where haut cuisine is mayo on your chips, I managed to wangle a ri...

Easy, easy does it folk, I promise tomorrow there will be a proper blog post with news of Antwerp; or stuff upcoming; and all sorts of gubbins. But Im trying to wring all the saltiness out of me beforehand. Anyway, I just wanted to say how much I absolutely hate these laser pointer thingies.                                                               He hates them too, precious. Its like this. Im old. So old, there is a serious risk of me actually dying while playing the game. You think something has line of sight? Im fine with that. You can just say it has. You dont need to get the pointer thing out. Honestly, its little plastic toys. If it were a vital situation, Id just say "if I put this chap here, are you fine that you cant shoot him?" - why go to the next step?  Similarly, if you hit my WFB stuff with a blast templat...